I realised I had rushed to something for decades, yes decades; it is not short-term, long days. So, what is the "something"? I was surprised at myself; I had not known what is "something" exactly. I devoted colossal energy and time to promote position, be famous, be wealthy, etc. But, they are not "something" I had eager to deprive.
My life was miserable. Everything was competition, take care of others to win the race, produced tons of publications, works, books, articles to defeat competitors, tried to sell me, and my name attempted to make connections to so-called big guys for nothing. I suffered from colossal stress and depressed feelings. I complained about everything, blamed people only in my mind for hiding my genuine emotion by fake smiles.
But, what for you was doing them?
I realised my activities were efforts for nothing. And I can know I can only do what I really want to do. I have the freedom for choosing; that is my right.
I quit the rat race. I am not a fighter of the game anymore. I know, in fact, I was never interested in the game nor "prizes", (empty) fame, wealth (for nothing), etc.
I wanna DELETE all articles in the past, but .. I do not have to care such a thing; I can make my day now.